Plus One
By: Adrian Angeles
I wish the beam judged me fairly this time. I can’t grasp the feeling of going through that again. The others, graceful with their offer, while I am the only one in line looking around. What if I did run? Under the circumstances, I don’t think I’ll make it far enough, not from the issue of distance but of time. The time it takes before I realize I had to come back. I took out the only offer I had from my back pocket. A stone pendant I weathered down by the numerous attempts to carve worthwhile knowledge. I hoped to receive the concept of certainty, so I carved my best idea yet.
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“What do you hope to get?” I heard from someone a couple places down the line.
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“Well, I always wanted to be an artist, but I’d be glad to be blessed with artifacts. You can’t go wrong with artifacts.”
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“My brother, he built one small enough to hold in your hand, can you believe that. Gave him energy for about a month, no eating, no sleeping.”
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“To hold, really? Those don’t last long, do they?”
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“Nope, matter of fact he died recently. I think a day or two later.”
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“Should you really be here then?”
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“Me, I’ll be fine. I was lucky today came when it did.”
The line moved and I was about five spaces before I got to the staircase. The people in front shivering. This was their first time. They have no need to worry though, as long as they have an offer. I overheard them and the only word I made out was read. Not the highest fruit of the tree, but I suppose there are lower things to hope for. I learned the hard way not to look for specifics. Much like the people out of the line rambling on about purity. Purists they call them, and I expect a term for that kind of creativity. “Where the only thing you have to gain from is yourself.” What does that mean, to gain from yourself?
I appreciated their honesty towards knowledge, but what have I to gain from pursuing such a rhetoric. Not only does it leave me behind, I may as well count the seconds of the day while I’m at it.
“Do not let yourself be accompanied by pain and light. Let yourself walk the path of true freedom, where you’re accompanied by passion and love. Let your expedition start at the beginning, let it be born as we all were.”
From what I can tell this person did this a thousand times before. The small wooden box she stood on looked like it was born rotted and split. I think I’d preach about anything with a semi-circle of people around me. I’ll show them the wonders of the light, if they went into it themselves there’s no need for this, in a place like this. Pick and choose battles and bite my tongue, when necessary, though I find it to be hurting plenty. I think my point comes across with the amount of people behind me.
I was about halfway up the staircase now. I looked at my chain again, flipping it back and forth in my hand, while it caught the rain. I pulled the hood from my robes and shamed the wind for trying to pull me down from the stairs. I didn’t like how it blew the water right into my face, so I shut my eyes for a little while. This is the right time. It goes without saying that I’m ready to go home. When I looked at the ground, I tried to clean off the stairs with my foot because I didn’t feel right that the pearl material got dirty.
Two more steps up I saw the top of the beam tearing a hole in the sky. One person with their hands held behind their back with a vase. They went up to the regulator to ask for an extra blessing. One of them out loud and the other in the ear. I didn’t get a good look at them, but they seemed ready with the power of the beam and within themselves. As they went in, I could see the silhouette of their body flashing between grey and black, lifted by a force defying gravity. As they walked out and faced me his eyes had a thin layer of gold, right outside the brown iris. The colors both complemented each other and then went back to normal. The intricate design of his vase was plain as the clay it was built from.
The regulator gestured at me and put both her hands on my shoulders. Her eyes purely gold this time. I bet she knew everything I knew about myself.
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“Would you like me to say something?”
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“Please.”
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“May you be cherished in all your endeavors.” She said out loud.
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“Patience is your friend.” She whispered.
I held onto those words with the courage that took me forward. I stared at the light. I almost forgot about the glyphs this time. That it was not made from light on its own but language as well. I forget what they mean even after my schooling. I looked back and the regulator gestured to me to go onward with a faint smile.
My right foot all the way in. I didn’t have to try to move the rest of my body. Once I took the first step the light pulled me in. Then I felt my skin burn all the way off and heal itself only to be burned again. That sensation repeated several times. I wanted to scream but I thought it might hurt more, so I hummed the best I could. After I lay back on the floor I walked out of the light. I avoided touching my skin because my body was still too aware and alerted. The regulator bowed towards me before I found myself at the bottom of the staircase. The Purists were still there but I tucked my head down.
“You don’t feel any different, do you.”
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“What did you say?”
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“You don’t feel any different, do you.”
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“How could you know that?”
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“I can’t explain it, but I do.”
My pendant’s symbol got erased and I tossed it to the last person in the semi-circle. They ran to the back of the line. I sat down with an image of my old home.