Swallow Me Whole
Poetry
Cielo Rodriguez
i will always see you haunt me first / there is nothing special about that
let me tell you / how in the fall you weep like a willow
over fallen leaves / baited and breathless, into my trap
knelt on the ground / pray you’ll find me in the summer sun /
i continue to be as sweet as a peach / halved and shared
someone should tell you it’s not pretty / to be such a mean girl these days
i can’t tell why you hate me / is it my softened gaze or hardened heart /
whether i am eaten or rotten / i have once been told
i am all mouth / even in the dark and gray
this year i prep / i lay waiting for a blackout necessity
candles burning for a bloodied and barren winter solstice / you may have left
a white rose in the snow / but there you are red and wounded
petals and thorns dilapidated / fragile like i’ve never seen before
you’re so pretty when you / do not speak
dog, with its bared teeth / gnawing on two-year-old bones
all that blood / how can i tell you now
that those promises were never once beautiful / they were just red
my poetry is honeyed and lurid / watch me rise up from the dead
i do it all the time / so now it is my season
my flesh ripe and ready / for you to tear through it
to the bone / past sinew and love and indifference
am i still the killer / if i pulled your knife from my back
it’s a dog-eat-dog world / as my venusian lover likes to say
conquer or die / but in the final act of this power play
i remember that i may be the villain in your story / i am not the villain in mine
i fought for my peace / if that makes me a predator
i say / (there is no hate there) so be it
your grief is an anchor / i know the truth
once the half heart begins to smolder / it’s all smoked out after that
our end is always self-made / i’d like to see you try
swallow me whole / with your hungry half hopes
if i am so bad / why are the words still in your mouth
anything good in this life / is worth fighting for
so why are you still fighting / a battle with my ghost