The full moon shone bright overhead, the only light illuminating the expanse field of barely in front of me. At the end of it stood an abandoned barn, once tall and proud, now a dilapidated remnant of the past with chipping red paint and a partially concaved roof. It had been empty for a long time. A forgotten relic of history where we could secure our future. Where our secrets would be safe.
     At least, that’s what he told me.
     And perhaps rather foolishly, what I chose to believe.
     Although the cloudless sky offered a perfect view of stars too numerous to count, a dark storm of emotional turmoil churned inside me. A sickening feeling had been eating away at my insides, a feeling I had come to recognize as guilt.
     How long had I been meeting him here? Two days? A week? A month? I had lost track of time. Lost myself in the process.
     I couldn’t go on like this.
     Tonight, I had to tell him.
     My heels sunk into the earth as I stepped out of my Buick, well hidden under the low hanging branches of a short tree and tall fronds of unkempt grass. I followed the path that was beginning to become worn to the edge of the field. Glancing once over my shoulder, I stepped into the field, just as I had done the first night I decided to abandon my morals. Paranoia followed me as I silently made my way to the barn, but my conscience stayed behind.
     Having safely made it to the large barn doors, some part of me should have felt relief. Instead, I held my breath, fearing what would happen next. I opened them with a forceful shove of my shoulder, hearing the hinges groan loudly with age, startling crows that had been sleeping in the rafters. I squeezed my way inside, taking care to close it once again behind me. Although moonlight flooded the barn from the gaping wound in the ceiling, I heard the sound of a match lighting a small oil lantern.
     A figure of authority still in his suit, meeting me here after work instead of running home to his family. Another late night at the office, I was sure.
     There he stood. Tall and powerful.
     Hungry.
     I took a deep breath. “Richard,” I ran across the barn, throwing myself at him and catching him in a kiss that he quickly deepened. His lips wandered ravenously down my neck, a moment that felt like heaven in the midst of my personal hell. He started to unbutton my dress, only making it past the first one as I pushed him away.

     “What’s wrong?” He asked, more with impatience than with concern. I swallowed hard, feeling my stomach somersault inside me.

     “My husband…” I began softly, my voice shaking.

     He rolled his eyes, obviously annoyed. “You think I give a shit about my wife? She doesn’t even know I’m here. Look, if you had a problem with this then you shouldn’t have approached me.”

     I shook my head, staring at the ground. “I’m sorry.”

     “Good.” He grabbed my arm, pulling me towards him. 

     “I just- I’m afraid about what the press might say, were they to find out about such a scandal. You’re such a prominent political figure, rising in the polls. I’m afraid something like this might diminish your reputation.”

     “What do you know about politics?” He scoffed. “No one knows I’m here. I made sure of it.” He started to kiss on my neck again.

     “But what about your children?” He stared at me in disbelief and anger.

     “What about them? You planning to babysit? I don’t want to think about them.”
     “But I’m sure they must be thinking about you. They haven’t seen you all day. They must miss you.”
     “What the hell is your problem? If you just wanted to get to know me then I wouldn’t have wasted the trip out here to the middle of freakin’ nowhere. Now I didn’t come here to talk.” He closed the space between us, his looming presence casting me in shadow.
      Suddenly, a silenced gunshot tore through the air, burrowing itself in Richard’s back. A brief look of pain and fear crossed his face, before he fell onto me, his weight threatening to bring me down with him. I screamed, using all my strength to throw him off. His body landed at my feet with a heavy thud that echoed through the empty barn. I stared at him, his hair still perfectly styled, his suit still perfectly pressed. Albeit now, it had a small hole in the back that blood
steadily seeped through, staining the fine tailored cashmere a dark maroon.
     A man dressed entirely in black jumped down from the rafters and landed on one knee in front of me, kicking up a small cloud of dirt by his feet. He stood up, revealing himself to be significantly taller than me. In one hand, he carried a large sniper. He pulled down his black neck gaiter with the other, revealing his rather handsome face.
     I should have been afraid.
     Perhaps even terrified.
     But all I could feel was adoration.
     The sniper clattered against the ground as he dropped it, pulling me close and kissing me gently. The hunger from Richard was absent, replaced with sincere, tender affection. I broke away, staring into his blue grey eyes.
     “Glad to know you still love me.” He said with a smile. “Took everything in me not to shoot him while he was kissing you like that.”
     I would have loved to have gotten lost in his gaze forever. To listen to his voice and not have to
worry about any worldly thing. But the reality of the moment set in.
     A man was dead.
     My affection spoiled into aggravation. “Did you have to shoot him while he was still so close to me?”
     He looked surprised. “I didn’t want to, but you really left me no choice. He was only going to keep coming onto you; you were frustrating him to no end. I was afraid he was going to try something,” he responded defensively, growing irate. “You’re just supposed to make sure no one followed him. Asking personal questions was only making him upset. You almost blew our cover!” he snapped. “You could’ve gotten hurt.” Deep down, I knew his anger was only fueled
by concern for me.
     Nonetheless, it was infuriating.
     “I didn’t. I’m fine. I’m alive.” I motioned to Richard. “He’s not.”
     “That’s the gig.”
     I shook my head. “I can’t keep doing this, Dylan. It’s just too much.” My voice cracked, raw with emotion.
     His brows furrowed. He grabbed my hands, his covered by black leather gloves, and squeezed them tightly. “It’s just a few more jobs, Cat. Just a few more and we’re out of here.” Tears welled in my eyes, slipping onto my cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumb. “I know, I know it’s hard. But please. Please trust me. I’m so close.”
     “He had a family.” I choked out.
     “That he didn’t care about.”
     “But maybe… he could’ve…” I sobbed.
     Dylan sighed. “That’s what I love about you, Cat. You see the good in everyone, even when it’s not there. It’s your gift. But it’s not gonna help you in this business. You’ve gotta learn to see people for what they really are.”
     The tears didn’t stop.
     “Richard was a bad man. People wanted him dead for a reason.”
     I didn’t want to hear it anymore. There was no possible defense to justify what I had just taken part in. What I had been taking part in.
     Still, Dylan continued his gentle attempts to comfort me. “I promise you baby, once this is all over, we’ll start clean. We’ll make an honest living, together. Wouldn’t you like that? We can start a bakery or something sweet like that. I know how much you love to bake.” He pulled me into a hug, stroking my short curled hair.
     “Just think about it, Cat. Me and you forever. We’ll pick out a nice spot by a beach somewhere, maybe Mexico. And this will all be behind us.” He grabbed my shoulders and held me out in front of him, staring intensely into my eyes.
     “I just need you to keep it together for a few more jobs. Just a few more, and that’s it. Then we’ll be done forever, I promise. Then it can finally just be us. Can you do that? For me?”
      I nodded silently, biting my lip to suppress my sorrow. “That’s my good girl.” Dylan kissed the top of my head.

     “Now let’s get this cleaned up.” He moved to grab Richard’s shoulders, and I numbly wandered to his feet. Together, we raised him and began to carry him across the barn to the doors.
     I tried to imagine in my mind that I was carrying a 12 pack of Coors to the beach, perhaps even a large cooler stocked full of ice and alcoholic beverages of every kind.
     But there was no escaping the deed.
     I knew of nothing that weighed more than a dead body.